They are the plague of offices up and down the country, weaving their sucker-covered tentacles into every floor of every building in Britain. At times, they creep up behind you, taking you by surprise because you think that you’re safe, they won’t get you.

But sooner or later, we all succumb. We fall victim to one of the world’s biggest curses; the pest, the blight, the bane of your existence: Office Lingo.